boundaries (a winter love study hall)
Until recently, when I thought of love, which was rare, I generally took love to be a feeling. A feeling inside us, inside them for us, or as a thing passed between us —that someone gives you (or takes away from you, or that you might never feel again).
I didn’t think about how I loved, just who I loved, and that I loved them.
What if, as M. Scott Peck explains, in The Road Less Traveled, love is a practice of being, not a challenge of getting and keeping and — “Love is as love does. Love is an act of will—namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” (p.83)
And if it is a practice, then you can become better at it, you can explore variations of it, you can learn about and expand your experience of it.
If love is in the actions we take (or don’t) and how, whether it’s a romantic love relationship or a different expression of love, the tension between what I want, need, believe matters vs what you want, need, believe matters is ever-present, whether actively generating or habitually, perhaps passively accepting, the quality of the relationship between us.
In this study hall, we’ll look at boundaries.
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” — Prentis Hemphill
What do you think?
Let’s talk about it…
While there is nothing to prepare for a winter love study hall, you may feel inspired to pull out your favorite texts about love in advance of us getting together, and that’s cool too. Either way, it’ll be great to hang out with you and talk about love.
Participating in a winter love study hall is a way to join the UNDERMININGnormal community.
It costs $7.00 to attend, and comes with a month of membership .
Members can participate in all UNDERMININGnormal gatherings and programs.
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UNDERMININGnormal is where deep-thinking, change-seeking women can find community, care and unhurried space for conversations we don’t usually get to have.