Bodylife Library Lab 10
Our Vaginas (Bodylife Library Lab 10) took place on 17-Jul-2020 online “at” the Wing.
the Invitation
Hey everyone,
I’m looking forward to tonight’s B Lab about our vaginas!
I wanted to remind you that we’ll have a journaling session as part of the Lab, so prepare a pen and paper, notebook, or whatever you like to write with.
There’s also a video and a couple of readings from The Vagina Monologues.
I’m forecasting fun, feelings of all kinds and a conversation you don’t usually get to have. Hope to see you there 
In sisterhood, solidarity and with love,
—oxo Alex
Anti-racism resources for white people
At the lab
a moment
Before we dive in, I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge that there is a lot going on in our lives. Across the country, around the world, in our personal lives.
None of us can know what the other is facing and carrying inside them. Regardless,
you belong here
If at any time, you’re not sure, or not feeling it, know that there is space for you here and that you, your voice, your questions, your pain, your joy, your difference of opinion, YOU are welcome here at the Lab. This is y/our space for conversation.
conversation
I’ve been thinking about conversation as a skill and a value. Skills are activities you practice and can better at. Here’s what I have for a practice of conversation…
- listening for understanding, which along with noticing and putting aside our assumptions and projections, means
- asking questions out of curiosity, to learn more about the other person, their experiences, and how they came to their point of view; it means
- allowing for silences to just let things settle inside us and think on the spot without feeling rushed to decide things;
- managing my reactions to challenges to my point of view, which to my brain, the part that’s ever-vigilant for threats, can feel no different than a threat to my physical safety and mainly, it means
- recognizing that on the other side of the words between us is a person.
our vaginas
Which brings us to our vaginas.
[untitled]
One day, out of the blue, a friend of mine asked me if I liked the way my vagina looked…
As you may (or may not) already know, that’s how the vagina vérité project began. To make a long story short, this question led to us realizing that we had never actually seen other women’s vaginas, other than some mainstream porn magazines (with retouched images in them).
I wanted us to be able to see ourselves for ourselves, so I began making vagina portraits, eventually, making over 100 of them. Close-up documentary-style images of the everyday vagina in plain view.
Whenever I would exhibit them, the best part was the conversations.
Before I continue, I just want to address that some of you may be bothered by my use of the word vagina. Not because you’re embarrassed, but because you think I should say vulva.
vulva
And you’re right. When it comes to female genitalia, the part you can see, and photograph, that’s the vulva. The canal inside is the vagina.
vagina vérité
But, vagina is what my friend had said, and I wasn’t using the word vulva day-to-day back then, so it would have been weird to make that switch and I named the project vagina vérité, which in my mind translated to vagina + truth = vagina documentary, like cinéma vérité, a style of documentary known for taking on provocative topics.
We had so much to talk about, so many questions, stories, difficulties, health and wellbeing needs, and in general: a need for better services and better access to information, and to each other’s experiences.
I began dreaming of a Bodylife Library.
A safe and accessible library of all the information, conversation and care that we need to live fully-empowered female bodylives on our own terms.
I had no idea how to do this.
Just that it would start by talking with women.
The Bodylife Library Lab
The Bodylife Library Lab is a space for conversations about female bodylife experiences.
A space for conversations that we don’t usually get to have.
building a Bodylife Library
This is a huge project. I’m intentionally starting out slowly, and by talking with women, vs software developers.
I want to learn about how we think about asking for help, getting information, how we talk about our issues, needs and interests, what works, what we do when we have no support…what would we want if we were designing a library, instead of a Google search?
today’s lab format
Our lab includes several different kinds of activities.
Including —
- watching a video of playwright and activist, Eve Ensler, performing The Vagina Monologues
- group discussion (this will happen throughout)
- journaling — I’ll provide a prompt and we’ll take ten minutes on our own to be with our thoughts by writing to ourselves. Sharing is optional. This is for you.
- readings — I will read some more of The Vagina Monologues to us
- Mad Teas — That’s when someone (me!) asks a question of the group and we type our responses in the chat box. Then we wait until I give the signal to hit enter. This way, we can take time with our own thoughts and everyone gets to be heard.
These are the different activities that we’ll do. They’re not exactly in this order.
The Vagina Monologues
Back in the 90s, Eve Ensler was worried about vaginas. She was worried about what we thought about them, and even more worried that we didn’t think about them. She was worried about her own vagina. It needed a context of other vaginas—a community, a culture of vaginas.
“There’s so much darkness and secrecy surrounding them—like the Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there.”
Eve, who recently changed her name to V (just the letter V), interviewed over 200 women about their vaginas, and from these conversations, she wrote The Vagina Monologues.
First performed by Eve in 1996 in New York City, they have since been performed all over the world, often with 10 or more women performing together and in countries where even saying the word vagina in public.
V-Day
The Vagina Monologues gave birth to V-Day, a global activist movement to end violence against all women and girls (cisgender, transgender, and those who hold fluid identities that are subject to gender-based violence).
With creativity and determination, V-activists around the world tirelessly work to end harassment, rape, battery, incest, female genital mutilation and sex slavery.
For over 20 years, you could find, and attend, a Vagina Monologues performance during the month of February, when the license is made available to anyone producing the Monologues as part of the V-Day Worldwide Campaign to end violence against all women and girls.
You can learn about the amazing history of V-Day via these two posts. One, reflecting on twenty years of art and activism all over the world. And the second recognizing that it was time for change, a new path forward.
- SAY IT, STAGE IT: V-DAY AT TWENTY by Susan Celia Swan, V-Day Executive Director, Purva Panday Cullman, V-Day Senior Programs Director
- DEAR ACTIVISTS, A LETTER FROM V
Because he liked to look at it
[Start at 1:42]
Let’s watch Eve perform “Because he liked to look at it”…it’s about seven minutes long.
journaling
What if it was normal to talk about our vaginas?
What might you ask other women about their vaginas, their experiences, their health and wellbeing, their hair, their down there…?
andddd…we’re back!
How are you doing?
Would anyone like to share any observations, feelings or questions with the group?
I asked a six-year-old girl
This is the first of two readings that I’ll do tonight.
our first mad tea
This is our first mad tea. We’ll take a moment with the questions on the screen, typing our responses in the chat and not hitting enter. When you’re done let me know. I’ll let you know when to hit enter after everyone’s ready.
When was the last time you looked at your vagina? What were you thinking, doing? Were you alone?
If it’s been a while, what do you think you’d see?
– [take a moment and drop your response in the chat
and don’t hit enter, until we’re all ready]
Would anyone like to read theirs to the group?
I was there in the room
“I was there in the room”; this is the last reading from The Vagina Monologues. It closes the book.
I teared up reading it…and painted this to have on our Zoom screen, while I read about how the vagina, like the heart, can sacrifice, forgive and repair.
our closing mad tea
This is our closing mad tea. Take a moment with the prompt on the screen. Then type your response in the chat but don’t hit enter. When you’re done let me know. I’ll let you know when to hit enter after everyone’s ready.
If you boiled it down to just two words, what would your vagina have to say?
– [take a moment and drop your response in the chat and don’t hit enter, until we’re all ready]
Read them all to the group….
why the Lab?
I believe that accessible information and open conversation are the foundation of a world where living a female bodylife is intrinsic to the design of our everyday lives. Not an add-on. Not at an extra cost.
Thank you for participating in the Bodylife Library Lab.
take this with you, with love
…What would be different in your life if you lived in a world that reflected, supported and respected female bodylife experiences?
Let’s stay in touch, and keep talking….
